The Vacuum Summer

1. The adventure of a lifetime (the one I’ve been waiting for since I can remember) isn’t going to happen while I’m in high school. So I need to make the most of this average-teenager life while I have it and start preparing for the real thing.

2. There really is no question: I need to get out of the OC. Pronto.

3. People are great. But some of them, no matter how close, are always going to find ways to screw you over. And nobody needs that kind of poison in their life. For once, just let it go.

4. With that in mind, keep the good ones close. Sure, there’ll be some angst sooner or later, but they’re worth it.

5. Nothing is set in stone. Not a damn thing.

6. That guy at the Ugly Mug? Actually not that much of asshole.

7. Braces suck, and are going to continue to suck till they come off. Don’t risk fucking with the date by eating and drinking stuff you know you shouldn’t.

8. There is nothing in the world that can top a good strawberry banana smoothie.

9. Birthdays are just a date where you get some cool stuff. Don’t read into them all that much.

10. Boys aren’t worth it till they shave daily and make enough money to drive an awesome car. And wear suits. So don’t sweat it.

11. Speaking of suits, looking like a million bucks is always in style. I can still be a tomboy and look like I take myself seriously.

12. There’s always going to be someone you really, really hate. In my case, it’s a whole group of people. Sure, they’re not worth your time, and you’re ten times better than them. But planning out their deaths isn’t just fun. It’s therapeutic. So go for it.

13. There’s always room on the couch.

14. LOOK AT YOUR TASTE IN MUSIC. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. SERIOUSLY. The time for expanding is now.

Of all the summers I’ve had, I find it kind of ironic that this is the one I blog about. What the hell even went on? Sure, I went out with some friends (try, like, 2, for the entire three months) and maybe I turned 16, but even that was under the radar. When this started, I had a plan that included twenty things that had to be accomplished before we went back to school. Half of those weren’t completed. And all those things were really, really mellow, too. So what happened? Absolutely nothing. That’s what. I may have started this thing with a plan, but by the third week, I’d just let it go. I’d adopted a lifestyle of complete and utter nonexistence. Wake up when I felt like it, eat what I could and when, go on the computer, sleep when I felt like it, showers are optional, that sort of thing. Some difficult circumstances basically led to me being alone for most of it. I was living in a vacuum. Funny how things work themselves out in there. With all that time to myself to just think, I was able to figure out a lot of shit that needed figuring. I worked out my plans. I finally decided where I was going after high school. I made several steps in choosing what I wanted to be after I graduated. I stumbled upon a lot of new music that made things a lot easier. I worked out who my friends really were, and which ones, after a good long run, needed to be filed under acquaintances or moved out of the picture entirely. I centered myself as best as I could and I learned. One of the most important things I realized was that in the end, nothing is sound. There is no such thing as a guarantee. There’s nothing in my future saying I’m going to be famous. There’s nothing telling me I’ll ever get to New York, or even out of this house. There’s nothing preventing a car from running me over and laying all my plans to waste tomorrow or the day after that except for my own looking-both-ways skills. There’s no promise that the people in my life are still going to be there when it matters. And I am strangely okay with that. After 16 years of being a firm believer in fate and destiny and crap that’s written in the stars, I’m pretty close to renouncing my faith in the future and simply paving my own road. I chose to believe in fate because I wanted to believe that, no matter how badly I screwed up, I’d always get to where I wanted to be. That’s for quitters. Using fate merely as a tool for keeping yourself happy and excusing your mistakes is a childish way of thinking. I know I sound like a tool for saying it, but oh well. It’s the truth. At least in my situation. So for these last two years of not having to pay my own bills or think about my own roof, I’m going to work as hard as I can to better my chances of actually having a life once this is all over. This was supposed to be a summer adventure. Instead, it was probably the chillest one I’ve had in…well, ever. But it all worked out for the best. I don’t think I could have had it any other way and come out this enlightened (I know, another tool word, but I figure I’m more a tool than anything else these days, so why not embrace it?) The Vacuum Summer did its job. Now I’ve got to do mine.

16.

FINALLY.

My birthday’s gonna be raaaaaaad.